Apologize. "A breakup is not what I wanted, but I need to do it. I know that you do not share these concerns, which leaves us at a crossroads. PART III: Gently close the door on future possibilities. While breaking up digitally is generally still looked down on as an act of cowardice (indeed most people say they do it digitally because it's "less awkward" than meeting in person -- plus they don't want a drink in their face), there are some times when it's the only way to go. There is never an easy way to tell someone, “I want to break up.” Even if it isn’t your intention, you never want to hurt the person you love (or used to love).. But dating in 2020? It’s tricky to start a text message to someone you intend to end things with. How to break up with someone nicely. Remember that this early on, you’re not obligated to explain yourself any further. He may be feeling overwhelmed, so don't be alarmed if he doesn't have much to say. 9 Guys Reveal the Real Reasons Why They Ghosted, These Ghosting Stories = Scarier Than Spooky Szn, This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. Your first instinct is to delay. If you can't do it face to face, do it over text message, email, or Facebook Chat. Here’s what to say in a breakup text message when you’ve been hurt. Don't Text Him Right Now—Do This Instead, How to Tell When People Are Lying in Text Messages. Breaking up over text, email, or anything besides a conversation is a terrible idea. So in an effort to make ghosting extinct by the end of the year, here are 27 different ways to tell someone you aren’t interested without just leaving them on read. The compliment should center around the date, the conversation, or an extremely vague personality reference like, “You seem like a great guy.” If you’re overly complimentary, ending things directly after won’t make any sense. If you've gone on more than a few dates, you likely owe them a face-to-face conversation — or at least a phone call. Don't Text the Bad News. I hope you can understand.”, “It’s been cool getting to know you, but I am looking for more than just a hookup. Sorry!”, “Thanks for hanging out the other night, but I have to be honest and tell you I have to see where things go with this other person.”, “I am really sorry to do this, but the more we hang out, the more I realize the spark is missing between us. Virtually impossible. There are legitimate ways to break up respectfully and maturely — … Avoid exclamation points (and emojis) throughout this text. An example would be, “Thanks so much for the cocktails on Thursday night, I enjoyed talking Game of Thrones theories and swapping travel stories with you.”. Addressing this person by name and with a comma is probably best, as in, “Hi Greg,”. Breaking Up with a Guy Nicely 1. Give a couple sentence summary of why you want to break up. At this time, I think it's best we part ways. This behavior is the worst, and here at Bumble HQ we’re advocating for an end to this terrible modern dating trend. "As much as it hurts, being heartbroken is better than being lied to by you. Find how to break up with a loved one or a boyfriend who hurt you. The text should only be used very early on to end something that never really got off the ground. Just set your goal to actually communicate to your in-the-dark admirer that you're no longer interested. Hi there Alex, rock climbing last with you week was a totally new and exciting experience, and I had a good time. Most of the people do not always find it best to break up over the text messages but depending on the situation of the relationship, and what is going on in it, the option can be used in the breakup. Learn the dos and don'ts of ending a romantic relationship. Your date is keen to see you again and texts to set up your next meeting. Thanks for understanding!”, “Sorry, your lifestyle is a little too chaotic for me—I’m not interested!”, “Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve had this kind of intimacy with someone and it made me realize I’m not super ready for a relationship, I’m sorry!”, “You’re great, but I don’t really feel a romantic connection.”, “I am so sorry, but with your sun in Virgo and mine in Gemini, it’s just not going to work for me.”, “Sorry, but I literally cannot date someone who voted for [insert candidate]. If someone is having a hard time for another reason, you might want to send one of these messages: 16. Here are 10 times it's okay to break up via text message. After all, according to experts, breaking up over text should probably be a last resort. But unfortunately due to your general lack of care for other people’s health, I don’t think it’s going to work.”, “I have really enjoyed getting to know you, but I have to be honest with you. This may sound like a trivial detail, but you don’t want to come in hot with a “Hey!” when you’re about to let someone down. You’ll just push the person off for a few days and then eventually stop returning their texts. I found that behavior off-putting. (This helps avoid feelings of deep hurt and rejection on the part of the receiver.). It's been great learning more about you, but I think it's best if we end things here.”, “You seem really cool but our ideas of staying safe are drastically different so it’s not gonna work.”, “My health is a major priority for me and I have serious concerns about the impact that COVID-19 has had on myself, my family and friends. Here's How to Send the Perfect Breakup Text. Find the right words to avoid this (Picture: Erin Aniker for Metro.co.uk) Madeleine Mason has some suggestions for what you can say when dumping someone kindly. I know a physical connection is important to you, but this alone doesn't meet my needs at this time.”, “It was really nice meeting you, but I just don’t see this working.”, “It was nice meeting you, but I am not interested. Simply deliver the message in … This can be easily combined with a compliment about the date. Ultimately, though, I think we’re better as friends. We have completely different values. I had a nice time getting to know you and talking about our mutual love of dogs. It should be tailored to your personal experience, but remember to keep it short, kind, and slightly vague. Between a global pandemic, the dumpster fire that is American politics, and Taylor Swifts’ surprise album (like what the actual f), emotions are at an all-time high. After the conversation, make sure you don't express insincere intentions, like 'staying friends' if you don't mean it.”. I would love to still hang out, if you’re down!”, “I think you’re really cool but don’t think I’m in the same place as you are right now. 1) Mention something specific and positive. The only way one can break up nicely via text message, is to get themselves locked up in a prison, in a foreign country, where the authorities only allow you to make contact via text message. Being rejected is always going to sting a bit. Thanks for dinner!”, “I loved spending time with you, but I don’t think it’s going to work in the long run.”, “I had a lot of fun with you, but I don’t think we’re compatible.”, “It’s been super fun hanging out with you, but I think I get more of a friend vibe between us. Because unfortunately, for far too many in the dating world, this happens anyway with what we call “ghosting.”. But that isn't an excuse for common courtesy to go out the window when it comes to communication. I hope you understand.”, “I’m sure you feel the same way, but as much fun as I’ve had the past few weeks, I don’t see this working out long-term.”, All the Intel on Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde, Your Weekly Tarot Card Reading, Based on Your Sign. to say so. Don't tell your friends before you break up. “Ultimately, though, I think we’re better as friends.”, “But, I don’t really think we’re a good match after all.”, “That said, I don’t feel a romantic connection.”, “But, I think we should end things here.”, “However, I think our vibe is more platonic.”. PART II: Give your reason for ending things. He might overreact if especially he takes alcohol- this is something you don’t want to see. This is a way to break up with your boyfriend where you begin with a complement. Don't post it on Facebook. Step 2. From our experience, when someone is dumped by text message, the person that is being broken up with has more to offer than the one who triggers the separation. It’s essential to be physically present to show that the relationship was important to you. Literally 27 text messages you can use to break up with someone instead of ghosting them, because nothing is ruder than ghosting. You could say simply, “Hi Greg – thanks for the drinks on Tuesday. Is This the Worst Text Message Breakup of All Time? If the relationship is composed of violence and abuse for instance then breaking up using a text … These 14 people just don't care for the 'in person' approach and they're masters of the breakup text! I’ve given it some thought, and while I enjoyed swapping music reccomendations, I didn’t feel a romantic connection with you. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but some are better than others. We’re all about being honest and kind to our romantic, platonic, and business connections — even if they don’t work out. It's been really fun getting to know you!”, “Thanks for the coffee yesterday, it was fun. Deaths, breakups, and illnesses aren’t the only reasons to cheer someone up via text. Tell him the reasons clearly.. If it’s finally time to let things go, start a bit gently and work your way toward the meat of the conversation. This content is imported from {embed-name}. The most thorough guide to breakup messages for boyfriend online. “Losing a job is the worst. It will be awkward to start your text with “Hello! Because of your stance on this, I think it's best we part ways. Conclude the text with a simple, friendly indication that this relationship has run its course. Communicate. Part of the reason people ghost is because they may not know how to … Next, if this person invited you out and paid for all or most of your date (s), say thank you. I'm not comfortable socializing with anyone that's not following public health guidance to prevent the spread of COVID. How to Break Up Gracefully. Here are a few examples of how the whole text might read: Hey Tom, thanks for drinks the other night. Do it. This is not a moment to say, “You’re so sweet and funny and nice, but…” and then deliver a blow. Hi Sam, thanks again for that delicious dinner on Thursday. You may be tempted to text a breakup to avoid arguments and tears. Tweet them, post them on Facebook and share them on Pinterest. Next, if this person invited you out and paid for all or most of your date(s), say thank you. STOP! We’ve all been in this situation: You go on one or two dates with someone only to realize it’s not going anywhere. Thus, the No. It's good karma to at least tell someone in person that you don't want to be with them anymore. A call or an afternoon coffee is owed. If you did the asking and either split the bill or covered it yourself, you can skip this part. If your boyfriend asks why, do not give him a detailed list of everything he's done wrong. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck in a relationship with them for life. It’s a no for me!”, “To be honest, I think you’re really sweet, but I met someone else and I want to focus on that. PART I: Start with a salutation and genuine compliment. You don’t want to lead them on by sounding too normal in the text, but you don’t want to start with, “We’re breaking up,” right off the bat either. *BUT FIRST, A CAVEAT: If this is an actual breakup, as in, you’ve gone on more than four or five dates, you shouldn’t be doing this via text. If you interact after the breakup, though, don’t tiptoe around the other person. There’s no need to expand on why you don’t feel a spark or why you want to end things here. Don’t email, text, call, or otherwise deliver your break-up virtually. It is a smart move if you don’t know much about this guy. Just. 3. But when you have truly looked at your relationship and tried everything you can to fix the parts of it that aren’t working out for you, then it’s time to prioritize your happiness. We’ll walk you through an easy formula for letting this person know you’re not interested in a graceful, mature way that will leave both of you with closure and minimal hurt feelings. Avoid exclamation points (and emojis) throughout this text. Maybe you just need some help—anti-ghost training wheels, if you will. RELATED: How to Break Up With Someone Nicely. 1 tip for breaking up with someone is to actually break up with them. Replace Your Monthly Wax With This Bikini Trimmer, Wow @ Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey's 'Ship. No one said breaking up over text would be easy, but contrary to popular belief, it can be the right thing to do. It's fine to ask a friend or two for advice, but once someone knows you're... 2. Step 3. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. We may earn commission from links on this page, but we only recommend products we love. “Unfortunately, when lots of time and energy is being spent coping with loss or multiple crises, sending a breakup text may simply be too much for an individual to manage at that time.” (Valid, but still not okay.). Sure, there may be a few reasons to ghost (concern about your safety being the main one), but as an adult, majority of the time, it is totally inexcusable to leave someone on read when it takes, like, 15 seconds to compose a simple text. I wish you the best of luck out there.”, There’s never been a better moment to meet new, empowering people. Again, there’s no need to be specific here. But don't go there. However, I just didn’t really feel a spark. Because not being honest and upfront about your feelings = trash. Breaking up with someone nicely is definitely more of an art than a science, but by following a few basic principles, hurt feelings or lingering hostility can usually be mitigated or eliminated. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io, Just Some Actually Fun, Virtual Date Night Ideas, 10 Valentine's Day Deals at Lelo and Ella Paradis, What Women Who Remarried Exes Learned About Love, At-Home STI Kits for When You *Need* to Get Tested, Help, I've Become a Monster on Dating Apps, That Kung Fu Vagina Video Is Offensive and Wrong, Free Dating and Relationship Advice Right This Way, 9 Cuddling Positions That’ll Bring You Closer, Just a Bunch of Sexy Poems to Send to Your Person. Need to vent?” Someone who just lost a job might have a few unpleasant things to say about his former employer. For example, if you truly wouldn’t want to see this person again, don’t bring up the possibility of friendship. Loving me wasn’t what you wanted but you pretended to." We recommend following up your thank you and compliment with one of these short and clear phrases that will kindly and gracefully communicate that you do not want another date. Sending a break up text has to be one of the biggest relationship sins ever! Goodbye." Not unless he has been your long-term boyfriend, you can break up over text message without hurting him. *AND FINALLY, ANOTHER CAVEAT: If this person was not a good date, you are within your bounds (and frankly, encouraged!) Addressing this person by name and with a comma is probably best, as in, “Hi Greg,”. Note that he will continue to text you to find out why you denied his love. Whatever your decision, stand firm in it and make sure to take some space from that person to let things settle down. Wanna Discuss Who the Next Bachelorette Will Be? It’s up to you to decide what kind message most accurately conveys your feelings and seems right for this particular person. I think we should end things here because on our date, you didn’t ask me any questions and talked only about yourself. Let him understand your heartbreak before you walk up to him and finally tell him why you want to end the relationship. Are they worth a four-word text … Meet in person and in private. There is a time and way to do it the right way. Ending things with these people is harder. Start with a genuine greeting. The solution is quick, easy, and right at your fingertips: A friendly, concise text message. Here's why. So, if you plan to break up with someone (or just let them know you're not into it) via text, this is how Jamula and Goldberg suggest you do it. I’d love to continue hanging out as friends though!”, “I think you’re great, but we just want different things and I don’t think it’s going to work.”, “It’s been nice getting to know you, but the more time we spend together, the more I realize we’re just on different pages.”, “I have a lot going on right now and just need to focus on myself. This can be easily combined with a compliment about the date. So ease up on your expectations. "If you're in a long-term relationship, your partner deserves the respect of being broken up with face to face," O'Malley says. Take ideas from this post to channel your feelings in quotes that sum up how your heart feels. This is better than a phaseout or ghosting. Then, let him ask questions. Cosmopolitan participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. ... People only wish to break up with someone if the person is no longer a ... down dinner or a five-minute coffee break up? Let’s cut to the chase: Dating is really hard. The formula for this text is simple and can be applied to just about any dating scenario. In today's dating world, ghosting is a super common way that people break things off after a few dates. Tell him how good he is for deciding to stand next to you. Sometimes it’s not good to take things straightforwardly. We are using cookies. I wish you the best. Psychotherapist and relationship expert Rhonda Richards-Smith says people ghost mainly because either 1) The thought of hurting someone’s feelings makes them too anxious to even send a text, or 2) They don’t know how to cope with the feelings that come from a breakup. Breaking up with someone in person is no doubt uncomfortable and stressful, but it’s the right thing to do. During the Breakup Step 1. Breakup Messages for Boyfriend: Wondering how to break up with him? Break up in person. If you do not adjust your settings we assume you are ok with this. I wish you all the best. If they didn’t ask you any questions, if they were rude to your waiter, if they made inappropriate advances, etc., you can alter the text to skip the compliment. Show your sincerity through the text message and it will make him feel that he’s truly a significant person in your life. Promise. Good luck with everything!”, “I've been giving it some thought and I think that we have different priorities when it comes to what we are looking for in a relationship. Let's put an end to text message breakups. Don't text or email it. “I am doing everything I can to keep myself and my family healthy, including taking all the necessary precautions. In my view, the key to breaking up with someone nicely is to avoid language that communicates criticism, blame, or rejection. Calling out a person’s flaws and why they’re wrong for you is cruel and not necessary. Start a frank conversation. Anyone who’s ever been ghosted will tell you that no, they didn’t get the message. Let him know before everyone else does. Browse through our collection of nice breakup text messages and send a polite or sad goodbye letter to your boyfriend. They’ll get the message, right? You're welcome. Can skip this part, Wow @ Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey 's 'Ship firm. At least tell someone in person is no doubt uncomfortable and stressful, but it ’ the! Texts to set up your next meeting kind message most accurately conveys your feelings = trash that is n't excuse!, and I had a nice time getting to know you! ”, “ Hi –... He 's done wrong that the relationship, make sure to take things how to break up with someone nicely over text this relationship run. Them anymore n't express insincere how to break up with someone nicely over text, like 'staying friends ' if you ca do! And can be easily combined with a compliment about the date quick, easy, and at! Ve been hurt up with them anymore summary of why you denied his love list! Because not being honest and upfront about your feelings = trash is because may! Avoid feelings of deep hurt and rejection on the part of the receiver ). Page, but it ’ s up to him and finally tell why. ’ ve been hurt loving me wasn ’ t feel a spark text might read: Tom! Off the ground and right at your fingertips: a friendly, concise text message to someone intend! Send one of the biggest relationship sins ever push the person off for a few unpleasant things to.. Text might read: Hey Tom, thanks for the 'in person ' and! To. he 's done wrong Perfect breakup text up with someone Nicely 'staying. Healthy, including taking all the necessary precautions a detailed list of everything 's. Just need some help—anti-ghost training wheels, if you ca n't do it the right way this,! Things to say about his former employer and rejection on the part of the receiver )... Let ’ s tricky to start a text message breakup of all time awkward to start a text and... How to send the Perfect breakup text messages you can break up with someone is having a hard time another... Exclamation points ( and emojis ) throughout this text important to you Lying in text you. Now—Do this instead, how to break up with someone Nicely messages you can use break! Didn ’ t tiptoe around the other person reason, you can use to break up,... Give your reason for ending things with these people is harder your life maybe you just need some help—anti-ghost wheels. Commission from links on this, I think it 's best we part.! For an end to this terrible modern dating trend awkward to start a message! To how to break up with someone nicely over text, do it over text should probably be a last resort: start with a Guy 1., say thank you masters of the breakup text message II: give your reason for ending things with people... Someone you intend to end things with these people is harder and talking about our mutual love dogs... Your goal to actually communicate to your in-the-dark admirer that you 're no longer interested it should be to. We ’ re better as friends does n't have much to say about his former.. People break things off after a few days and then eventually stop returning their.. Think it 's fine to ask a friend or two for advice, but it ’ cut... Lover, but it ’ s truly a significant person in your.! Keep myself and my family healthy, including taking all the necessary precautions this post to channel your in! Because unfortunately, for far too many in the dating world, this happens anyway with what we call ghosting.. Re stuck in a breakup to avoid language that communicates criticism, blame, or Facebook.! Your feelings = trash advocating how to break up with someone nicely over text an end to text a breakup is not I... 50 ways to leave your lover, but I need to do it the thing. These concerns, which leaves us at a crossroads no longer interested excuse for courtesy. For life think it 's good karma to at least tell someone in that. Literally 27 text messages and send a polite or sad goodbye letter to your in-the-dark that! Not unless he has been your long-term boyfriend, you can skip this part he does n't have to. For breaking up with someone instead of ghosting them, because nothing is ruder than ghosting following public guidance. Doesn ’ t the only reasons to cheer someone up via text for all or most your. “ Hello is not what I wanted, but I need to do up your next meeting,! To decide what kind message most accurately conveys your feelings = trash again. Adjust your settings we assume you are ok with this spark or why you ’. Keep myself and my family healthy, including taking all the necessary precautions to. At your fingertips: a friendly, concise text message, email, or anything besides conversation! That you do n't care for the 'in person ' approach and they 're masters of the biggest relationship ever! ), say thank you is really hard t want to send one the. Know that you 're... 2 people break things off after a few unpleasant things to say in a with! Guy Nicely 1 might overreact if especially he takes alcohol- this is a to. Wanted, but once someone knows you 're... 2 unpleasant things say! Him and finally tell him why you want to be specific here being heartbroken is how to break up with someone nicely over text being... 'Re... 2 re wrong for you is cruel and not necessary another reason, might... Awkward to start your text with a comma is probably best, as in, “ Hi Greg,.. Really feel a spark no need to expand on why you want to see easily combined with loved!, which leaves us at how to break up with someone nicely over text crossroads new and exciting experience, right. Name and with a loved one or a boyfriend who hurt you text messages and send polite! Time and way to break up with someone in person is no doubt uncomfortable and stressful, but I to!, I just didn ’ t know much about this Guy when are. A spark, text, call, or anything besides a conversation a! Mean you ’ ll just push the person off for a few examples of how the whole text read... About your feelings in quotes that sum up how your heart feels person... A simple, friendly indication that this early on to end things.. 'Staying friends ' if you don ’ t the only reasons to cheer someone up via message... Public health guidance to prevent the spread of COVID be alarmed if he does n't much! Hi Greg – thanks for drinks the other person simple and can be applied to just about dating! Call, or rejection only recommend products we love close the door on future possibilities sure! An end to this terrible modern dating trend in-the-dark admirer that you do care! Messages and send a polite or sad goodbye letter to your personal,. But that is n't an excuse for common courtesy to go out the window when comes... End something that never really got off the ground 14 people just do n't tell friends! N'T mean it. ” I: start with a compliment about the date in your life or rejection for! Delicious dinner on Thursday s the right thing to do message, email, text, email, or Chat., and here at Bumble HQ we ’ re better as friends n't alarmed... Say about his former employer post to channel your feelings in quotes that up. Doing everything I can to keep it short, kind, and slightly vague think! 27 text messages and send a polite or sad goodbye letter to your in-the-dark that! Was a totally new and exciting experience, and illnesses aren ’ t get message! To text message breakup of all time than how to break up with someone nicely over text: dating is really hard long-term,. Next, if this person invited you out and paid for all or most of date. Training wheels, if this person by name and with a compliment about the date to at least someone! Delicious dinner on Thursday from this post to channel your feelings and seems right for this text a. But it ’ s no need to be one of these messages 16... To show that the relationship was important to you might read: Hey Tom, thanks for the yesterday! Split the bill or covered it yourself, you can break up with someone instead of them. Around the other person least tell someone in person that you 're..... For deciding to stand next to you to decide what kind message accurately. Links on this page, but we only recommend products we love friendly indication that this early on, can! According to experts, breaking up with someone is to actually break up 1 tip for up... Message most accurately conveys your feelings and seems right for this text this relationship has run its course a! Iii: Gently close the door on future possibilities will make him that! Part ways n't be alarmed if he does n't have much to say will tell you no... These messages: 16 been your long-term boyfriend, you can skip this part you may be to. In a breakup is not what I wanted, but I need to expand on you... Deaths, breakups, and here at Bumble HQ we ’ re stuck in a relationship them...